so? when am i really happy? ...like for real, with no thought or even the slightest pang of sadness in me? hmmm....lets see if I can remember a time....it's been five minutes already...and nothing recent comes to my mind! the last time i remember being truly happy...was...was when i visited delhi! ...for just about 2-3 hours I know, but yeah...!
...now what do i like best? when do i feel best? well my answers should be when i'm around family...or friends...and when i'm with my partner..but apparently not...somehow i feel a certain pressure to be artificial even around them...! ....so when do I get to be really me? the best time...or the only time i mean...is around the time i'm alone, at night...while everyone is asleep...if i'm lonely i can cry into my teddy-bear's shiny, soft, white, silky coat..or just sit and read in the hall...maybe write..or maybe act out...or analyse my feelings and surroundings...at one point of time i hated being alone...now i only love to be left alone more and more! ...how things change! well reasons best known to you already things have been messed up....leaving me rather messed up myself with emotions i have no clue how to deal with...
So what do i do now...??? ...where do i go from here...???
No comments:
Post a Comment