...while you lay fast asleep...

while you lay fast asleep..i recounted today and how its made me feel...
and truthfully...this is it..
....so at the moment i'm rather miffed with you, yet you've managed to get me apologising to you for wrongs that you claim i've done that actually and truthfully don't exist at all...! ...look you kno what would be a whole lot better Mr? ...if you were just honest with yourself,and agreed that what waas actually bothering you wasn't really me or the wrong things i hadn't done but your own family and the wrongs they have done...! ...that would be much much better..that way instead of me backing away from you, you'd have me come forward and try and ease the pressure on you to do right and expectations from you, or if not that, atleast listen to you patiently and help you relax and cool down and take your mind of that stressful stuff...in some way or the other...but no! instead you stupidly enough go around choosing the dumbest possible option of yellin' at me, pushing me away as well by blaming for stuff that doesn't exist which results in you isolating yourself and having more time to worry yourself thinking of how people have 'let you down' or how bad things are for you etc instead of lettin' me help pick you and your mood up! ...gawd! your sooooo darn kiddish sometimes...! Grow-up!
...anyways its only 'cause i bloody love you and hence know you so damn well and know what to expect from you and how to treat you when you react this way am i still around and dealing with it all and still sticking by you right through it all...and even got myself to tell you to do whatever you think is best for your family...even if it meant leving me out in the end after i've done so fucking much..!
anyways hope you keep sleepn' oblivious to how i feel right now and often more times...'cause otherwise it would just lead to another mess...and i can't take any more of 'em now..i've got enough already...with mum, ruth and now you and your mood swings, blame-games and what-nots...!

:(
sweetdream on!